Summertime
by LilyBartAndTheOthers
Summary: A summer in the city can change the perspectives. WK fic.
1. Summer In The City

**Chapter one – Prologue, Summer In The City**

It didn't have to do with silence. She had it as soon as she passed the doors of the building and made her way to the upper floors. No. It had to do with perceptions and how the world looked blurry all of a sudden – almost lost in the distance. A feeling of safety wrapped her up then and as the fluid movement of her body sent an echo to the waters, Karen began to swim.

Always by night - when Manhattan vanished under a thousand lights in the darkness of the sky and the moon seemed to slide on the tiled floor until its pale shade reached the large, private swimming-pool of her penthouse. Sometimes she thought about nothing but the moment Stanley would retreat to his office while his children would go to bed accompanied by their nanny and finally alone, she would climb the stairs leading to this world of blurriness. A foggy perspective of the metropolis that spread below – still boiling in spite of the late hours.

Her feet brushed the edge of the pool as she turned around and – plunging into the water – she headed back to the other side for another length. Swimming released her tension. A stress she never alluded to for whatever reason. Too personal, perhaps. But all of a sudden her eyes caught up the figure of a man walking towards the bench where she had abandoned a bath towel. She didn't stop though – focused on the fast cadence of her heartbeats instead – and only emerged from the waters after having reached the opposite side of the pool. Slowly – her eyes locked with his – she swam towards him then settled there. Her chin against the edge of the floor – her feet balancing innocently in the water. Playfully.

"You are ahead of schedule, honey. He leaves tomorrow."

As Will approached the edge of the pool to sit down there only a few inches away from her, her gaze wandered from his own eyes down to the rest of his body before making it back to his lips. She knew them by heart now - from their taste to their softness on her naked skin.

"I know. I went out for a few drinks with some colleagues and since it was in the area I thought I could stop by afterward."

She didn't try to hide her smile. As a matter of fact, she had stopped trying to hide them for a while now because it didn't make sense anymore. Because she liked the sensation it stirred up throughout her body to be completely honest. Her fingers let go of the tiled floor and she laid down on her back – floating in a nonchalant way – and exposed her whole body to him. It wasn't fair play but she couldn't resist.

"So you assumed that a quick fuck would close the night on a rather pleasant note?"

In a last pirouette – a last second under the water – Karen reached back the edge of the pool and headed out before going straight to her bath towel. The large windows offered a breathtaking view over the city from The Upper West Side to The Empire State Building on her left. She could have spent hours there observing Manhattan by night in silence. There was something fascinating – an odd attraction to it.

"Watch your mouth."

A quiet laugh slid on her lips as she raised her eyebrows to look – amused – at Will. It was in his eyes – an almost invisible light that she had learned to recognize little by little. A tiny detail that made a whole difference and all of a sudden she knew whether she was standing in front of Jekyll or Hyde.

"Why, you don't like where my mouth lands at times?"

As her eyes stopped on the zipper of his pants, she bit her lower lip and shrugged as if pondering some existential question. Not for too long though. Always in control – of time, of everything. And wrapping herself in the bath towel, she sat down on the teak bench before talking again.

"You know that I hate when someone interrupts my late night swimming."

The unzipping of his pants resounded loud in the quiet – large – room lost in the middle of a summer night. Passing her tongue over her lips, Karen let him come and sit on the bench by her side. At times she wondered why she liked that – this whole scheme that didn't sound right at all – but since nothing came up to her mind she simply pushed it away to focus on what she had.

"Will Truman, you have absolutely no manners... Not that I really care about that."

She bent over to reach for his boxers and shivered as her mouth – cold from the pool – made contact with his warm flesh. She heard him sigh in the immensity of a lonely night. Completely hers. And perhaps at the end it was what she actually liked – this odd sensation to have him at the mercy of her hand. At the corner of her eyes.

_**Cool town, evening in the city**_

_**Dressing so fine and looking so pretty**_

_**Cool cat, looking for a kitty**_

_**Gonna look in every corner of the city**_

_**Till I'm wheezing like a bus stop**_

_**Running up the stairs, gonna meet you on the rooftop**_

**_Summer In The City_, Lovin' Spoonful**


	2. In The Summertime

**Chapter two – Taste, In The Summertime**

Sophie's smile came to land at the corner of her lips in a suggestive kiss – a delicate one that could have passed for accidental if it weren't for the place they were at. The protocol people followed as soon as they became members of the singular private club hidden in a luxurious loft midtown Manhattan. A quick study of the first room – Friday on a cool summer evening and the place seemed to be a bit more crowded – and she saw him at the bar a glass of Martini in hand. Always dry – without olives. Absolut if he had the choice of the brand. Then the taste of his kisses melted against her tongue in the vapors of alcohol and made her feel dizzy.

With confidence she passed a few couples sat on the leather couches – their eyes betraying a lot more than their talks – and brushing his lower back as she reached him, she grabbed his hand before heading to another room in the background. They rarely spoke by then – just acted to the beat of the music that pounded loud against their chests, drowning their ears in an ocean of fast cadence. Crossing the dance floor – subtly plunged in a semi-darkness – Karen recognized a few faces. Regulars like her and Will. They formed some sort of community if she had to think about it. Not that classic but still, a very small sphere of souls who only met by night most of the times ignoring to the name of the people they would brush – kiss – caress naked.

The third room was quieter – the loud music from the dance floor nonetheless resounding somewhere in the background – behind the hundred black veils hanging from the ceiling through which intertwined bodies moved in fluid movements on large beds in a semi-darkness.

She wasn't a swinger nor was Will but for some reason – an accidental one as a matter of fact – the club had opened their doors to them one night when Stanley was still in town and Grace hadn't planned to go out the Riverside Drive apartment. Fascination had stirred up their arousing and little by little they had headed to a more intimate room that the place counted – made love there. Perhaps some strangers had watched through the veils – perhaps some would have liked joining them. She couldn't tell and did not mind that much. On the contrary, it sounded terribly appealing.

A bed in a corner was available. Still carried on by an odd self-confidence, Karen headed to it – pushed the veils to pass through them – and sat on the mattress looking up at Will. Suggestively biting her lips. Stanley had left in the morning for Switzerland. Summer business trips - if she had hated them at some point, her opinion had radically changed since she had met Will. Intimately. Now all she was thinking about was her husband's calendar in his office with red crosses on days he wouldn't be here. Perhaps it sounded cliched – the wife of a wealthy businessman sleeping with her attorney – but her life made a lot more sense than it had ever done before.

As her fingers went to unbutton his shirt, her lips found back his in a long – deep – kiss. Not even a single word. Only gazes had resulted enough to set off the rest of their lustful evening. A sort of celebration as Stanley wouldn't be in town for a month and a half. She was free – of everything.

His hand slid up along her hip and came to caress the edge of her thong. Instinctively she laid down on the bed under him – let him do. He wanted to dominate. She had nothing against it. Perhaps she had a tendency to take control of the situation a lot more than he did but the loud music – the intimate spirit – and the vapors of alcohol going to her head bewitchingly among other couples' quiet sighs led her to succumb to his touch.

As her skin made contact with the warm air of the private club – Will getting rid off her shirt – Karen arched her back to his mouth and turned her head around. If they had been alone, she would have just closed her eyes to concentrate on the sensations that Will's caresses brought to her body but the scene was different – the situation as well. She couldn't picture people's faces through the black veils, only a whole series of moving shadows from which emanated a sensuality that drove her crazy.

It is only when Will's tongue reached her inner thighs that she realized he had unzipped her skirt and let it slide down to her feet along with her thong. She restrained a moan and plunged her hand in his hair instead pushing him implicitly closer to her flesh – spreading her legs.

She swallowed hard and took a long, slow breath as Will finally focused on her most sensitive spot yet without any warning. He liked taking her by surprise – loved how his gestures could have such effect on her reactions. It was part of the game and she liked it as well. Part of these sexual encounters that barely had to do with the person she thought she was. In real life. As if swingers clubs and affairs came only from fantasies – a few prohibited dreams she wasn't really experiencing.

Karen had always been shy in her relationships – classic if not boring. Men had often reproached it to her if not just left after a while for their couples lacking a minimum of audacity. Then Will had come along under other circumstances. Other rules as well. And things had changed. Drastically.

_**If her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal.**_

_**If her daddy's poor, just do as you feel.**_

_**Speed along the lane,**_

_**Do a ton, or a ton and twenty-five.**_

_**When the sun goes down, you can make it,**_

_**make it good in a lay-by.**_

_**In The Summertime**_**, Mungo Jerry**


	3. Summer Cannibals

**Chapter three – Summer Cannibals**

"Honestly, you simply have to ask me and I will come along."

Immediately Grace stopped packing her Louis Vuitton travel bag and smiled – shaking her head with a soft indolence. The night had fallen over the city for quite a while now and by the open window a low murmur seemed to get lost in the dark. The traffic below on Riverside Drive.

"I have already told you that I didn't need your presence there. I prefer you to stay here and stop by the office every day to check the mail – the messages left on the answering machine. Eventually you will come on weekend. With Will if he wants to leave New York for a few hours. I can't believe that he did accept this new client right for the summer. What an idea he had!"

Leafing through a travel book guide about Cape Cod, Karen didn't reply. For the first time they would have Manhattan for them and only them. Jack would leave for a cruise when Grace would head to some new project for a client out of town. A certain excitement had wrapped her up for the last hours as she had begun to think about nothing but the moment she would face Will suggestively. They would have sex – over and over – with a carefree attitude that they had lacked until now. And then what? Would it get resumed to purely sexual acts?

"Just like I don't understand why you refused to leave with Stanley to Switzerland. I had told you that I didn't mind – not that you have needed my agreement until now. If I didn't know you, I would imagine that you actually want to stay here with Will. Ridiculous, obviously. Yet I am not sure that you are not going to kill each other during my absence..."

Sometimes Karen came to the conclusion that Grace and Jack simply refused to see what couldn't look more evident. Not that they went into risky situations with Will but still. A mere comparison between their agendas would have resulted enough to realize that there was something weird. But no. Nothing – absolutely nothing.

"We don't hate each other. Besides, we don't have to spend all our time together either. Will has his life – or so – and I have mine."

Grace - who had started packing again – stopped halfway a pair of white jeans in hand. Eyes staring at the wall in front of her, she frowned. Remained silent for long seconds before finally letting the words slide on her lips and hit the air.

"Perhaps he is dating someone and he hasn't told me. It could explain his mysterious night-outs in the middle of the week... Though he told me that he stayed at the office to work on some files by then. He can't have a new lover and yet not telling me about it. No. That isn't Will."

It didn't look like Will either to attend swingers club parties – even less sleep with women on a more than regular basis. It didn't look like Will to always ask for more when in bed with her and yet Karen couldn't ignore what appeared as an odd, incomprehensible reality. Will wasn't necessarily who he had pretended to be – for whatever reason.

"Who cares, Grace? He is a big boy – a rather successful attorney. If he wants to stay in New York for the summer and work on this new client's case then why not. It isn't as if his sentimental life deserved a three-week vacation."

"What about yours?"

She hadn't expected a personal question concerning her own life – at no moment – and for a second she remained blank. Silent. Her marriage had up-and-down. It wasn't a secret. Though the truth was that it might have remained for too long in the lowest levels of ignorance. Stanley and her spoke – at times – almost pushed by some conventionalism. But they hadn't shared a bed in months – hadn't kissed for an eternity. Was it the end or simply the dreaded stage of monotony?

"Like I should expect something from Stan to be sexually satisfied!"

Karen lacked courage to face the consequences of her remark though and left the bedroom – an empty glass of Martini in hand. The rest of the evening embraced the shades of a usual one perhaps with some ounce of melancholy that would have melted – subtly – among it for Jack and Grace being about to go away from the city. It wouldn't be the same without them. It never was when someone was missing.

…

Will_T: My tongue brushes your breasts while my hand goes down to your thigh. You are naked except for your garter belts you have kept on so I can play with them for a while.

Miss_K: My knees press against your hips as you slowly lick my breasts and your fingers play around down there. My hand is in your hair. I massage your head yet push you closer to me while you intensify your caresses and make me arch my back in pleasure. I want you now. Immediately.

Will_T: Then you just have to ask...

Miss_K: Fuck me hard.

In the depths of her bed – the blue light of the computer screen embracing her face in the dark – Karen settled against her pillows and let her hand brush down her chest – her stomach - as Will kept on writing more and more daring descriptions. She was turned on by the images coming to her head and the words flooding in. Her fingers reached her inner thigh. She held her breath – bit her lower lip as she began her lustful caresses.

**The cauldron was a-bubbling**

**The flesh was lean**

**And the women moved forward**

**Like piranhas in a stream**

**They spread themselves before me**

**An offering so sweet**

**And they beckoned and they beckoned**

**Come on darling eat**

_**Summer Cannibals**_**, Patti Smith**


	4. Summer Fling

**Chapter four – Summer Fling**

They had made love everywhere from an alley to the upper deck of a ferry – the skyline of the city in their back vanishing slowly. Yet Karen's favorite remained the same: rooftops. It was a classic in New York where the immensity seemed to melt into the arousing possibility that some people were watching behind the windows of their apartments or their offices – and this odd sensation to be close to the sky in a symbol of utopian eternity. By night, the scene offered different perspectives. The traffic below – the multitude of lights surrounded the darkness of a cloudless sky. Everything looked close and yet in the distance as if unreachable. Then you forgot about the rest and there was just you and your lover.

"Perhaps we could go to Nina's gallery in Chelsea. I have invitations for the opening night. Her work remains timeless... I liked a lot the black and white series about Harlem. There was something vivid in it that reminded me of the street where I used to live as a kid."

Putting some more _tapenade _on her slice of bread, Karen smiled at the reminiscence of a time she used to keep under silence – just in case. But with Will – and only him – things were different. He didn't go and ask for further details but accepted what she gave him as tiny as her confessions could be. The loud sound of a helicopter passing above their heads made her look up for a few seconds – her hair floating in the breeze of the evening. It had been a hot day and if the temperatures had cooled down as the sun had disappeared, the concrete of the roof was still warm under her bare feet.

"When is the opening night? If it doesn't take place on a weekend then why not. I also have to call for _Shakespeare in the Park _and book our tickets."

They would go out – together. For some reason it had reassured her. Not that she really minded if they only met for sex but there was still something comforting in the idea of making plans. Between friends. It might have been lasting for a while, Karen still didn't manage to consider Will as her lover. He didn't fit the role – the image she had of such character.

"I don't know... At some point in July."

Will poured more wine into her glass and as she grabbed it her fingers brushed his. They would have sex. She knew it. Mainly because they always did at some point – after a few hours. The picnic on the roof of the Riverside Drive building was just an excuse to bring along the situation – a nice way to put things into track perhaps but still. The message was clear. She would end up shivering against him that night.

The alcohol slid along her throat and went to warm up her lungs – its vapors going to her head slowly. She looked how Will grabbed a cigarette from her pack and light it. She didn't like the idea that he did smoke at times when alone with her. For whatever reason. Putting down her glass – on the floor – she dragged herself to Will and stole the cigarette from his lips. Her fingers brushing his mouth playfully. She took a drag while settling on his lap – let the smoke escape – and got rid of the cigarette as a kiss on her lips settled down all the rest.

Soon enough his tongue slid on hers as she passed her arms around his neck and gave more access to his embrace. She had always liked the way Will used to kiss her. There was something soft about it – something delicate that only belonged within him. It contrasted with the rest of his gestures and how he unbuttoned her linen dress revealing thus her pale skin to the lights of the buildings around. A rain drop suddenly slid down along her chest – sending a shiver down her spine. They broke apart – looked into each other's eyes – but didn't leave as the rain began to fall over the city.

Her dress landed against her hips. Head leaned backwards, she arched her back pushing her chest to his kisses slowly going down to her breasts. The breeze against her flesh was arousing. Too arousing. She wrapped her legs around his waist and came closer to his pelvis. Her hands passed underneath his shirt to feel his heart beat against her palm. Going fast. Always. She took off his top as he unhooked her bra to fully concentrate on her breasts – his tongue brushing them suggestively. The rain was pouring now but they couldn't care less. As a matter of fact, it added to the scene. The rooftop, a hot summer night in the city and the immensity of the sky looking after their caresses.

She found back his mouth on hers as she unzipped his pants and got rid of them along with his boxers. Her fingertips brushed his length – her tongue embracing his with a suggestive depth. The satin of her thong slid down her legs and in an eager kiss, she settled on his lap properly – feeling the warmth of his body inside hers. Contrasting with the cold rain drops that were now running from her hair down to her hips.

Contracting her muscles around him, Karen began to move with a natural fluidity – almost an old one if she had to think about it. She had never managed to explain to herself their chemistry. There had been something from the very beginning even when they weren't sleeping together yet. Things were different when with Will. Mysteriously different. Terribly appealing.

**Sweet, sweet burn**

**Of sun and summer wind**

**And you my friend**

**My new fun thing**

**My summer fling**

_**Summer Fling**_**, K.D. Lang**


	5. The Other Side Of Summer

**Chapter five – The Other Side Of Summer**

As she opened the window, the ocean breeze came to caress her face with delicacy – making her hair float around, brush her nape like a stolen kiss. The sun reappeared from behind a cloud and she closed her eyes in an attempt to concentrate even more on the warmth that it left on her pale skin. The waves were crashing below – at the end of the backyard where the cliffs suddenly fell in the abruptness of the natural landscape. They had arrived in Cape Cod only an hour ago but yet she had forgotten New York and its unbearable temperatures – the cacophony of its traffic and the boiling life that emanated from it. The world looked peaceful by the ocean – as if slowed down by an invisible strength.

Finally abandoning the window, Karen turned around and observed the bedroom she would stay in for a few days. The house guest was a typical one – made of wood and pale, natural shades. Sand from the previous years still embracing the hardwood floors as she walked barefoot on them. The main house – that was going under work – was an imposing summer house that overlooked the cliffs, a bit further on an old road from the rest of the town.

A knock on the door dragged her out of her daydreams and as Grace poked her head inside – smiling – Karen felt in the obligation to do as well. Her friend was stressed yet ecstatic by the ongoing project. A whole house to decorate was a rare opportunity in an interior designer's career.

"Are you available now? Constance would like to meet you before leaving..."

The owner of the place – Grace's client whom Karen had never met before nor talked to over the phone at the office. Politely Karen nodded and followed her friend. She was a guest. Meeting the host seemed rather logical at the end even if this one wouldn't be here for the weekend.

Will was waiting for them in the living-room of the guest house and together they crossed the backyard to go meet the owner at the main house. The weekend in Cape Cod had appeared as a relief to Karen – for her having spent every single day and night with Will since they had found themselves alone in the city. It was too much somehow and they both knew it – yet couldn't seem to be able to resist. At least a few days with Grace would bring back the balance they had known until now. Far from the odd fusion they succumbed to in Manhattan. They wouldn't have sex for three days – wouldn't even flirt. It would be better like that for a thousand reasons.

"Constance, please let me introduce you to my friends Karen and Will."

While her eyes had been staring at a painting hung on a wall by the fireplace, as Karen looked up at her host she felt her smile freeze on her lips – then cast a furtive glance at Will to study his reaction as well. The world was small or incredibly ironical – she couldn't tell – but as she tended her hand to Constance Monroe, Karen actually shook Sophie's hand, the owner of the adult club _Taste_ where she went at times with Will to have sex more or less in public.

"Nice to meet you... Constance..."

In a ballet of lies and vaguely random conversations, Karen finally left back to her bedroom in order to unpack. But as she was taking her clothes out of her travel bag, her mind couldn't focus on anything if not Grace's numerous allusions to the Cape Cod client. Constance and her husband owned a business in Manhattan and had bought a summer house by the coast a few years earlier – house they wanted to get redecorated and that was why they had hired Grace. How could she have guessed that Constance was the Sophie who used to brush her lips every time she stepped into _Taste_? And yet, perhaps she had been missing hints about it.

…

Timidly, she finally poked her head out in the corridor before walking on her tiptoes to the porch of the guest house. Will and Grace were nowhere to be seen nor had they tried to reach her the previous hour during which she had settled down in her bedroom. They had probably left for a walk – together. Arms crossed on her chest, Karen decided to head to the edge of the cliff – at the end of the backyard – where a bench allowed anyone to sit down and admire the landscape. The wind was strong there and the ocean loud below but she nonetheless took a seat and lost herself in the contemplation of the scene.

"You are married..."

The voice made her jump but as she looked up and came to face Constance, Karen followed her gaze and stared at her own wedding band. She always took it off when going to the swingers club. For whatever reason.

"Your name isn't Sophie..."

Sitting down by her side, Constance smiled – amused – and looked straight in front of her at the sailing boats that seemed to slide over the ocean.

"As a matter of fact, my full name is Constance Sophie Theodora Monroe. My parents having a thing for long names... And a strong desire to stick to our family traditions. These are my aunts' names."

Looking at her lap, Karen smiled but remained quiet. She liked Constance's eloquence – the carefree attitude she seemed to own even under circumstances extremely different from their New York nights at a midtown club. The woman's laugh resounded loud above the waves. Full and sincere.

"I should have known better than to assume immediately you and Will were actually married. You suit each other too well for that. There is no marriage as sensual as the two of you are..."

**The sun struggles up another beautiful day**

**And I felt glad in my own suspicious way**

**Despite the contradiction and confusion**

**Felt tragic without reason**

**There's malice and there's magic in every season**

_**The Other Side Of Summer**_**, Elvis Costello**


	6. Summer Wine

**Chapter six – Summer Wine**

She had accepted the glass of wine – had taken a sip – then put it down while going for his lips in a perfect silence. Four days without touching him. Without feeling the warmth of his skin under her long and bold caresses. Four days only – not even a week. And yet it had seemed to last an eternity. The kiss had tasted of the red drink – its bitterness embracing their tongues bewitchingly. Then it had gone fast and soon enough she had found herself sat on top of the kitchen counter naked against his bare flesh.

His fingers seemed to follow the swaying movements of her back as she led their thrusts with a perfect sensuality. Her legs firmly wrapped around his waist – their lips brushing each other's shoulders in brief kisses, breathless ones. They hadn't even talked as she had passed the door of his apartment in the first hours of the evening. No. They had just rushed into a carnal relation immediately as if to emphasize the idea that they were back in Manhattan – back to their lustful, summer routine.

Taking a pin off, Will released her hair that fell down in cascades upon her shoulders – brushing quietly her nape. Her moist lips found his back for a long and sensual kiss before she locked her eyes with his brown ones. There was something incredibly arousing in the fact of staring into his eyes while feeling their orgasm build slowly – something bold that she only managed to get when with Will. Some sort of a controlled bestiality that drove her crazy for daring to cross her very own limits.

The increased sensations made her swallow hard and arch her back even more. Will smiled at the subtle reaction from her body and held her tighter – playfully. He wouldn't break eye-contact. She knew it. At this game he always proved that he had no limits. He was the one who constantly pushed her further as a matter of fact – and probably against all expectations. Karen followed him. Unable to resist.

Then it happened – coming from her stomach in a strong wave of warmth almost impossible to stop or make it last. Her nails dug into his back drawing half-moon crescents that would vanish as the beats of her heart would slow down – her brain releasing oxytocin throughout her body. She bit her lower lip in a urge to restrain a loud sigh and let it go. Shivered against him – her eyes still locked with his brown ones. Will smiled and joined the exhilaration of her own sensations in the pale light of the night.

Breathless, Karen leaned her forehead against his shoulder – felt him do as well on her own one – and after a few seconds kissed his flesh there, at the back of his neck. Will did alike in an odd coincidence that made her blush. It was odd how as soon as they began to caress each other she lost the slightest of her inhibitions but almost immediately after the intercourse her timidity came back with a whole series of second thoughts that brought a different shade to the situation.

Awkwardly they had to get dressed back – pretending that everything was normal. Logical. That they hadn't succumbed to any carnal desire at the most unexpected moment. Their glasses of wine still full and waiting sagely for them.

Buttoning back her linen pants, Karen headed to the bathroom. In silence. They never spoke a lot after having sex even when in bed. Perhaps because they didn't have that much to share at the end. She was washing her hands peacefully when she caught up her reflection in the mirror – her absent-minded gaze slowly became a more intense one until she finally lost herself in the contemplation of her face. Water was still running – producing an odd sound in the background – as her eyes remained fixed on her red cheeks and the way her hair looked messy. There was something sexy about it. Something innocent as well – a sincerity that took her aback for not appearing very often through her features.

"Sophie invited us to the next party on Thursday at _Taste_."

Will's voice made her jump – taking her out of her daydreams. She looked up at him leaned on the door frame of the bathroom two glasses of wine in hand. She accepted hers and took a sip. It was curious yet interesting to see that he had decided to keep on calling the owner of the club by her middle name. She saw the woman as Constance now. As if Sophie belonged to a faded dream.

"Would you like to have sex with her?"

Her question took him aback. As a matter of fact, it made him choke on his glass of wine. Restraining a laugh – for once she actually took him by surprise – she raised her eyebrows and waited for an answer. She didn't know Will's type of women if he had a type at all. He had slept with other women – vaguely alluded to them at times – but Karen didn't know what they looked like. What they did as a job. Maybe they were married too.

"Would you?"

There was a flame in his brown eyes – a mischievous one – that she kept on staring for long seconds as if with the time passing by, his gaze would reveal the exact essence of his soul. Who he really was. She took another sip of her wine and let it slide along her throat until it embraced her lungs.

Karen had never questioned her own sexuality. If she had flirted with women, she had always ended up with men. Except once, in college. She hated men to the point she couldn't live without them – couldn't imagine a life without their arms, the strength of their delicacy when they suddenly cared about who she was. Women belonged to another category. The one of fantasies. And yet... Swallowing hard, Karen heard her very own voice hit the air as she replied to Will.

"Yes, I would."

**My eyes grew heavy and my lips they couldn't speak**

**I tried to get up but I couldn't find my feet**

**She reassured me with an unfamiliar line**

**And then she gave to me more summer wine**

**Oh oh summer wine**

_**Summer Wine**_**, Nancy Sinatra & Lee Greenwood**


	7. Summer Lady

**Chapter seven – Summer Lady**

It wouldn't be just another night out – a usual one. Yet because they would go there together for once instead of meeting at the club like some perfect strangers. The rules would change – slightly, subtly. At least if Sophie agreed to follow them to the room full of beds and spend a moment in their company.

Since Will had asked her about her desire to eventually have sex with Sophie to which she had replied by the affirmative, Karen hadn't stopped thinking about it – elaborating plans, scenarios in her head for their next visit to _Taste_. They had been regulars for a long time now- maybe even since the beginning – but at no moment they had expressed such a desire of change in their habits. Until now.

Her heart had begun to pound loud against her chest for a couple of hours but with a troubling calm she had prepared herself for the evening. No mattered the thousand questions remained unanswered going through her head – the slight apprehension she was having. She didn't want to go backwards and finally renounce to it. Her pride and self-esteem were too strong for her not taking up the challenge. It was just another game between her and Will. Just another fantasy.

Will stopped by her place to pick her up but the taxi ride remained desperately quiet. Trying to ignore her heartbeats, Karen focused on the buildings outside – through the window of the car. New York was waking up slowly after a day of unbearable temperatures and people were little by little making it to the streets – their faces reddened by the sun lit up now by the neon lights of the city. They didn't look alive though. Barely relieved to finally feel some breeze surrounding their bodies.

The ride seemed to last an eternity but as they reached the club, Karen wished the road had been longer if only for a few seconds. Her apprehension was building up with a disturbing easiness – destroying her self-confidence slowly. She paid for the ride and stepped out before waiting for Will. Accepting gladly his hand they pushed the door of _Taste_ and looked for Sophie. As usual the woman was standing by the old piano that nobody ever touched – nobody ever played. As she saw them, Sophie approached with a smile on her lips. She didn't look surprised. On the contrary.

Her hand brushed Karen's back as she leaned over to plant a kiss in the corner of her lips. But following a perfect synchronization Karen moved a few inches and met Sophie's lips for a chaste yet long if not suggestive kiss while her hand grabbed their host's.

Perhaps Sophie didn't sleep with any client. After all, Karen had never seen her with anyone – even less in a dark corner. The thought made her freeze and for a few seconds she felt a wave of heat rush up her cheeks. Such a tiny lapse of time in a life – until Sophie responded to the kiss deepening it.

Her gesture was soft yet full of confidence almost as if she had known that it would happen – as if she had read it through Karen's eyes as soon as she had passed the door of the bar. They broke apart and in a perfect silence headed to the bedroom in the background. Sophie didn't wait for very long and rushed back to Karen's lips as soon as they found a bed available behind the black veils. Her kisses were soft – yet full of a determination Karen had never lived. Subconsciously her hand looked for Will's. She felt his mouth against her neck – his tongue drawing invisible circles on her flesh.

The contact with his own body made her relax as well as Sophie's hands on her hips. It was strange to be kissed and caressed by two different people with different habits. Yet bewitching – arousing. Slowly Karen let go of Will's hand and let her fingers slide to the zipper of his pants. Still lost in Sophie's kiss. Brushing playfully Will's length, she got rid of his pants and proceeded to take off his shirt as well.

Sophie broke apart and for a few seconds Karen opened her eyes. Will sat down on the bed by her side and captured her lips. He sounded reassuring somehow – a reference she was relieved to have in such a moment of arousing confusion. Feeling Sophie's hands on her shoulders, she silently obeyed and laid down on the bed restraining a gasp of surprise as the woman's tongue brushed her thighs. The music in the background – coming from the dance floor room – sounded familiar. Like Will's hands on her chest and hers on his back. But her other hand was going through Sophie's hair who - mischievously enough – had unzipped Karen's skirt and let it slide down to her feet.

Karen's hand caressed Sophie's shoulder and she realized that their host was naked. Had she got rid of her clothes by herself or Will had done it while he had been kissing her – brushing her breasts at times? Karen couldn't tell and couldn't care less either. As Will's lips made contact with her bare nipples and Sophie's tongue brushed – without any warning – her most sensitive spot between her legs, she forgot about everything. Losing once and for all her inhibitions and succumbing to burning touches. A foot caressing Sophie's hip, she got rid of Will's boxers and began to massage him – slowly.

Feeling her orgasm build up in her stomach - her breath shortened, her legs sllightly shaking - Karen broke apart with Will and looked down at Sophie. As both women locked their eyes with each other, Karen sat up only to finally lay down back on Sophie – feeling the woman's naked body against hers – and captured her lips in a deep kiss. From behind, Will went for her nape covering her own body with his – spreading her legs.

It wasn't the first time he made love with two other people. It couldn't be. His confidence was too high for a novice. Karen's hands went to caress Sophie's breasts and a smile came to die on her mouth as she felt Will's warmth inside her body. Sometimes changes were more than a mere opportunity.

**Laying here in my room**

**With all my worldly things**

**Don't make up for all my dreams**

**Of you in my fantasy**

**Summer lady you look good to me**

**Summer lady you're my fantasy**

_**Summer Lady**_**, Santana**


	8. Long Hot Summer Night

**Chapter eight – Long Hot Summer Night**

They hadn't talked about their evening at _Taste _and would probably never do so. The sun had spread over the moon the next morning and the world had simply kept on turning – as if nothing had happened between them and Sophie, nothing that would have deserved attention at least. Will's invitation to have dinner out nonetheless resulted relieving the very next day as the eventuality of a face-to-face had gone to Karen's head anxiously all night long after she had come back to her penthouse. There would be a lot of people outside – a life that would surround them reassuringly. Not that she was ashamed of what she had done but still. The truth was that she didn't know how to deal with it.

"There is a retrospective of Fritz Lang's work at a small movie theater in The Village. I thought that maybe we could go watch one of his films after..."

Karen didn't try to restrain the smile that all of a sudden embraced her lips with a honest timidity. It was a nice evening – a quiet one, almost normal if she had to define it – and the perspective to finish it by a movie seemed to fit perfectly. Biting into her _pita _and savoring the taste of hummus on her palate, she nodded at Will's suggestion in silence then enjoyed the slight warm on her cheeks. She was blushing – for whatever reason that nonetheless seemed bewitching.

An hour later they left the murmurs of the restaurant for the darkness of a small movie theater that still sold tickets identical to the ones she used to get when a child – small, and purple with a number on it. A few people were already sat down as they came in – a dozen of them, mostly students looking for some peaceful evening that would take them back to a time when cinema had different perspectives.

It didn't smell of popcorn or candies – didn't highlight the latest success of the box office. Instead a few posters from the sixties were hanging on the walls as an old tune was playing in the background. Time seemed to have stopped a while ago there fighting back the constant evolution and changes New York faced every single minute. The sentiment emanating from it was a strange one and almost intimidated, Karen went for the seats located at the very bottom of the room – far from the rest of the audience.

She waited for the room to be plunged in the dark to finally put on her glasses. Will had seen her with them a thousand time but she couldn't get used to it in spite of all. She hated them deeply – hated what they sent back to her mind: the image of a vulnerable, not so perfect woman.

She went for his hand – perhaps half an hour after the movie had started. In the dark, her fingers went up her seat until they found the warmth of his body, the delicate lines of his palm. Still looking at the screen, she held his hand tightly and smiled as she felt his thumb caress the back of her own hand. And it should have stopped here. Two people holding hands almost secretly in the darkness of an old movie theater – hiding the blushing of their cheeks from the pale light of the screen.

But for some reason – maybe pushed by the mischievousness of their previous evening – her hand left his for the zipper of his pants. Slowly, her fingertips followed his flesh over the fabric. Down. Up. And repeating the movement over and over. She could now feel his erection and if he had restrained a gasp of surprise at the beginning, Will hadn't asked her either to stop what she was doing.

Quietly she unzipped his pants and released his length from the fabric of his underwear – her gaze still focused on the black and white movie. He was warm against the palm of her hand – warm and firm. A scream of surprise came to die in her throat – stifled as she swallowed hard – when Will's own fingers reached between her inner thighs. He had taken her aback – completely – but barely paying attention to the few people sat five rows ahead of them, Karen spread her legs and let him do as she began to slide her hand along his length.

It was wrong if not just borderline and gloomy but there they were unable to stop – even less resist to a few impulses that were driving them crazy. They weren't touching each other but through their hands – feeling their arousing build along in a prohibited synchronization. They didn't even kiss – didn't look at each other the slightest bit.

An oppressive sensation would embrace her heart a long time after they would have reached orgasm – and made it back to their respective places. Not even the cool waters of her swimming-pool and the endless lengths would overcome it. The world did look fuzzy under the waters lit up by the neon of the room – silent except for her heartbeats. But Karen still felt trapped and guilty.

Breathless, she emerged from under the water and leaned against the edge of the pool to stare by the large windows. Manhattan was glimmering in the night with sensuality – a breathtaking beauty. Drops of water ran down her face but as they came to caress her lips, she realized that they were actually tears.

Within a few hours they would leave for Cape Cod and see Grace again. Perhaps it was what they did need at the end – some sort of break like the last time. The situation was different when they weren't by themselves. As if being surrounded by people prevented them from crossing limits they might at some point come to regret.

Yes. Cape Cod would be a well needed break.

**It sure was a long long long hot summer night**

**As far as my eyes could see**

**Well my heart was way**

**Down in a cold cold winter storm**

_**Long Hot Summer Night**_**, Jimi Hendrix**


	9. Someone Somewhere In Summertime

**Chapter nine – Someone Somewhere In Summertime**

As she opened the window of the guest bedroom, Karen realized that she had missed Cape Cod or at least the sentiment of quietness it brought to her mind. There was something special about this place – far from the boiling decadence of Manhattan and the oppressive atmosphere that had been surrounding her relation with Will lately. Life seemed easier miles away from the city if only in appearances.

"Is Will seeing someone?"

The words resounded loud and abrupt in her back – yet closer to an affirmation than a question in itself. Turning around, Karen looked at Grace then frowned. Her heart began to beat faster even though there was no reason to worry. It had been years now since Will and her had started sleeping together and they were careful enough to not let creep in any doubt.

"I have tried – on several occasions – to ask him about his occupations there at night but he remained a bit distant and vague every time. As if he didn't want me to know... As if he were hiding something and it drives me crazy. It hurts."

Grace's sudden confession took her aback. She wasn't used to them – wasn't used to face people's pain. It made her feel uncomfortable and stupid for not knowing what to say. She had never been good at it.

"If Will were dating someone then he would tell you. I mean... If he had met someone and assumed that it was serious enough. You shouldn't worry about it. You won't lose him."

"He didn't tell me about Diane."

Slowly enough, Karen began to unpack her travel bag. The allusion to Diane was an unexpected one – tough if she had to be honest. Very often she wondered how many other women Will had slept with. Obviously she wasn't the only one with Diane. His confidence had always been high but at no moment she had managed to ask him about it. His private life had nothing to do with what he let people imagine and that was all she knew about.

"Let it go, Gracie. We all know that if Will has something important to tell then you will be the first he will go to. In the meantime... I don't know. Don't think too much about that."

"What about Stanley?"

Instinctively, Karen looked by the window – looking for the edge of the cliff and how the ocean seemed to crash with a barely contained violence against the rock. She wouldn't go for a swim but might spend the rest of the weekend observing the waves with a silent envy. Their rage was inappropriate yet rather tempting.

"He is in Zurich. Doing well..."

"I still don't understand why you didn't want to go with him."

Zipping her travel bag and putting it aside, Karen took a deep breath then let a tired smile do the rest – embracing her lips, lighting up her delicate features. Her words would keep on weighing even after she would have left the room and headed outside in the backyard to enjoy the summer breeze in the shadow of an old oak tree.

"That is because you aren't married, Gracie."

…

"_**And you talk so coldly about sex... You talk as if you had only wanted yours on pleasure and satisfaction."**_

Plunged into her novel, Karen didn't notice Will approaching. After lunch she had decided to leave for a while and had settled down on one of the deckchairs in the backyard. The weather was nice yet not too hot as in New York and staying outside was bearable enough. This was all she actually needed – some loneliness far from all the rest.

"What are you reading?"

Without taking her eyes off the page, Karen moved slightly the novel to show Will the title. They hadn't talked a lot since the day before at the cinema. Random dialogues getting lost in the immensity of life – a world way too big to ever keep everything in mind.

"_Lady Chatterley's Lover... _Really?"

She had read the novel more times she could remember but the eroticism emanating from it always had an impressive impact on her mind and within a second she got hooked by the story – no mattered she now almost knew every single line from it.

"Where is Grace?"

"In town... Last-minute shopping."

The contact of the sunscreen on her back made her shiver and abandon the reading of the novel as her eyes focused on the house on the other side of the backyard. Soon enough, she felt Will's hand slide on her skin – softly, almost innocently if she hadn't known him better. She hadn't asked for anything even less suggestively. Wearing a bikini in the summer was one thing – inviting implicitly someone to some sexual caresses was another one.

Yet she let him do – observing how her principles over the weekend were slowly fading away as Will's hands were caressing her body. Sliding from her lower back to her waist – brushing her stomach with a barely contained mischievousness. Swallowing back her resolutions, Karen spread her legs and closed her eyes as if to concentrate even more on Will's gestures.

As his fingertips reached her inner thighs, she restrained a gasp – frowned then turned around to sit up and capture his lips in a long, deep kiss. His caresses were still burning her skin no mattered his hands had left her back for her nape a while ago and she had wrapped herself around his waist. Close to his pelvis before letting him lay down and straddle him.

When she felt him inside a few minutes later, she definitely drew a line under the rules she had come up with once concerning Cape Cod and closing her eyes – abandoning herself to burning thrusts – she preferred to focus on the sound of the waves in the background. Will's breath on her naked breasts and his hands going up and down her back.

**Moments burn, slowly burning golden nights**

**Once more see city lights, holding candles to the flame**

**Brilliant days, wake up on brilliant days**

**Shadows of brilliant ways will change me all the time**

_**Someone Somewhere In Summertime**_**, The Cure**


	10. Summer Sunshine

**Chapter ten – Summer Sunshine**

Disappointment. The sentiment had wrapped her up as soon as she had passed the door of her Upper East Side mansion and put down her travel bag – sand still sliding under her feet like an old companion of bitter memories. The night had fallen over Manhattan with an unbearable torpor and all of a sudden, she had burst into tears – alone in the immensity of a cold house.

What were three days in a whole life? Absolutely nothing – barely a detail that could pass unnoticed if not just disappear right away under a layer of invisibility. And yet she hadn't been able to handle them properly – hadn't been able to follow her own resolutions and stay away from Will.

They had slept together more times she could actually remember. From the moment his hands had been on her skin – sunscreen passing underneath his caresses – she had forgotten everything and spent most of their private time having sex with him. Perhaps at some point she wouldn't have cared but things had changed and she saw her incapacity to resist as a failure. Some sort of red alert that she had to listen if she didn't want to end up with more regrets.

Laid on her back, Karen kept on staring at the neon lights – her feet moving slightly in the water from time to time. She liked floating when the lengths didn't bring her the relief she was looking for. It was a strange sensation that the one to remain on the surface yet without producing the slightest movement – balance reached thanks to three swim boards placed strategically under her body. The world seemed to be light and easy with no decision to take – no broken hearts.

But reality always managed to find its way through the quietness of the pool and suddenly she plunged in the waters – her eyes wide open – then swam to the edge before stepping out, reaching a bath towel. It was late. The very next day would be a tough one to go through.

…

"I want to have a break."

Immediately she felt the coldness left by the way his hand furtively dropped hers on the tiny table they were sat at. The place was crowded – as usual in spite of the fact they had reached the end of July. The loud sound of a percolator in the background made her frown and almost apologetically, Karen smiled as if to ease the words she had just used.

"Are you having your period?"

She couldn't help blushing at the question and the easiness with which Will asked about such subject – in a public place, besides. But once she got used to his audacity, something hurt inside. Did he really and only see her as a sexual acolyte – a merely biological entity? She considered him as her friend and had always done so. Certainly not a meaning to release her sexual tension.

"No... I just want to slow down – for a while."

As she looked around, Karen realized that perhaps she should have chosen another restaurant. The little French bistro was one of their favorite places and subconsciously enough meant a lot in their personal story. Too much for the conversation they were having now.

"Do you want to stop seeing me?"

All of a sudden her _gratin dauphinois _didn't look appetizing anymore and vainly enough, she traveled her fork from right to left in her plate – brushing the French dish bitterly. She had spent the night lost in her wonders and looking for a way to come to a reasonable conclusion. About them. About how things had evolved since the beginning of the summer. And in the first hours of the morning – while a shy sun had caressed the buildings – it had seemed clear enough that she had to take her distance with him.

"No... Not at all. But I would appreciate it if we actually didn't necessarily end up in bed every time. At least for a while..."

It left him speechless and she felt stupid – extremely stupid. Their whole relation had been based on it: purely sexual encounters all around the city. Without it, they just didn't make that much of sense. What were they really for each other in the end? Friends with benefits - fake friends, maybe.

"Alright, it is fine to me. And... And if I have offended you or something, please accept my apologies. I didn't mean to – at absolutely no moment."

His excuses made her choke on her red wine. She shook her head immediately before frowning – a bit confused, perhaps. This was not the way she had wanted the conversation to go. Because if there was someone to blame in all of this then it was her and certainly not Will.

"You haven't done the slightest thing. I just... I don't know. This summer is way too odd."

They shouldn't have been left alone. It had never happened before – not like that, without Grace or Jack around to kind of bring a semblance of balance in their questionable lives. They were off-limits all the time if not just sliding down a path they should have never taken without their friends around. It wasn't part of the plan.

"I care about you, Karen."

The words passed underneath her skin – ran through her veins – then reached her heart until her mind analyzed them carefully. The result happened to be a cold one. Flat and bare. Burning like a veil of lies. From the corner of her eyes, she stared at a couple stand up and leave the bistro hand in hand. It was a strange sensation but together, the woman and the man seemed to make sense when she didn't. It was a cruel realization.

"No you don't, honey. You are just here to fuck me."

**Just sweet beginnings and bitter endings**

**In coffee city, we borrowed heaven**

**Don't give it back, I've never felt so wanted**

**Are you taking me home?**

**You tell me you have to go...**

_**Summer Sunshine**_**, The Corrs**


	11. Summer Holiday

**Chapter eleven – Summer Holiday**

Timidly she took her shoes off – put them aside – and let her feet brush the grass. The sun was high in spite of the late hour of the day and still warming up the ground. Around her, a crowd of strangers settled their picnic baskets next to colorful plaids – carried on by an old habit she was only discovering after decades of living in the city. It wasn't her fault. She only belonged to another category.

Will tended her a glass of white wine that she gladly accepted. If he hadn't asked for details about her rather sudden decision to slow down things between the two of them, he hadn't renounced to see her – spend some time in her company. And every evening they did something – went somewhere before she came back to The Upper East Side and fell asleep there alone in bed.

"Have you ever watched it?"

Instinctively Karen followed Will's motion towards the big screen that had been installed in the middle of Bryant Park. The large white square contrasted with the green leaves of the trees and the blue of the sky. A bird flied by.

"Yes, a couple of times... I guess it was one of my father's favorite movies as a matter of fact."

The poster had been hung all around – its red and black drawing catching up the attention with some strange fascination. Almost oppressive. Effective nonetheless, like every single Hitchock's movie.

"You remember that?"

She didn't know why she had alluded to her father in the first place. It was a subject she never came up with – never talked about. All what her friends knew had been stolen from conversations and a couple of hints that would have flown away with the wind on various occasions.

Trying to ignore the blush that had embraced her cheeks, she looked down at the grass and nodded – a bit taken aback if not confused. It wasn't the right place to talk about such a thing. There were too many people around – too much noise when the conversation required intimacy.

"He used to say that I looked like her – Kim Novak. A cold beauty... A mysterious one. Even as a child because I didn't talk that much. Now I think about it, I guess he was right. Somehow."

Trapped in a dark love story – abused by appearances. All of a sudden the scenario of _Vertigo _sounded almost too close to an unbearable truth and Karen only found refuge in her glass of wine. Stanley had called in the morning – said he missed her. This had never happened before. At absolutely no moment. It had taken her aback and before it, she had remained desperately quiet. Because she didn't miss him at all – because she didn't think about him all the time. On the contrary. Waiting for his call was a torture.

"I have never tried to use you."

The words seemed to resound loud when they actually turned into whispers and she couldn't help but blush – look around to make sure that nobody had overheard. A bit awkwardly, she stared at the slide of bread she was holding and the _tapenade _Will had made in the afternoon. He felt guilty – because of her decisions. Guilty and probably lost before the sudden character of it.

"I know, Will..."

But the lights suddenly got turned down and under the audience's applause, the red and black trailer of _Vertigo _invaded the screen – sliding on people's faces with an abrupt sweetness. Troubled, Karen turned around and nonetheless concentrated on the movie. Quietly.

…

Miss_K: Thank you for the evening. It was nice – yet rather singular since all I had experienced until then was _Shakespeare in the Park_. There is a charity event held on a yacht in a couple of days, would you like to come with me?

Will_T: I would love to... If I actually didn't have other plans. I am sorry.

She felt her heart beat faster as her blood turned into an ocean of ice in her veins – heat rushing up her cheeks in the darkness of her bedroom. The excuse might have been a professional one though an odd sentiment kept on shouting the exact opposite. She felt incredibly ridiculous all of a sudden. Even if he couldn't see her but her words behind the impersonal light of a computer screen.

Miss_K: Okay, that is fine. No problem. Perhaps I could stop by tomorrow in the evening then. I mean if you want, of course. There is this book I had borrowed from you – such a long time ago.

The next seconds seemed to last an eternity as she waited for his answer – anything. A mere comment that would calm down her heartbeats. But the screen remained blank and desperately cold before her obvious distress. He hadn't alluded to a busy schedule less even a proper date.

Will_T: I am not sure that tomorrow is a good idea either. I am sorry but I might come back from work late and be rather tired. I guess I will see you this weekend – with Grace. You go to Cape Cod, right?

She didn't cry but felt immensely empty – all of a sudden, just like that. Without any warning. They had seen each other every single day of the past two weeks and that in spite of her decision to take a break on their sexual habits. Will's attitude didn't make sense – as much as she tried to analyze it. It wasn't a cold shower but an icy one that left her terribly lonely. Panicked.

Miss_K: Alright... I will call you later to book the train tickets so we can travel together. Have a good night.

**I stood out there and cried**

**That summer holiday**

**That holiday**

**And I wonder**

**Do you ever ever ever think of me**

**The way it used to be**

_**Summer Holiday**_**, Chris Isaak**


	12. Idiot Summer

**Chapter 12 – Idiot Summer**

His name was Sasha. They had met at a bookstore midtown in June but for whatever reason had not called each other before a few days earlier – maybe a week, barely. Sasha lived in The Village and was a school teacher for some private institution located on Madison Avenue – the kind of one where most of the children learned Japanese even before knowing all the subtleties of English. They had only gone out twice but time had seemed to fly away by then – settling thus a couple of quiet promises.

Sat on an worn-out armchair, Karen had forgotten about the heat of the mug she was holding for quite a while and stared at Grace in silence who – almost ecstatic – confessed details of the last phone call she had had with Will. He would arrive later to Cape Cod. Because of Sasha.

Sasha. The name resounded loud in Karen's head now – bumping with an empty echo against her heart. As much as she had dreaded it, the situation appeared to be rather logical if not understandable. Except Will had never told her about him – at no moment. Yet what did she really know about Will anyway?

"Where are you going?"

Grace's question made her freeze for a few seconds and putting down her mug on a coffee table, Karen shrugged – looked around for an answer. Subconsciously she just wanted to escape from the talk with her friend. Because it hurt. Too much.

"To the lighthouse..."

"With this rain? Have you lost your mind?"

The weather had drastically changed for the past two days – the sun getting buried under gray clouds - and all of a sudden the temperatures had fallen down. It wasn't a summer storm but rain bringing along its melancholy – the kind of one one used to face in the fall when the leaves of the trees succumbed to a brown shade before flying away for the eternity.

"I don't mind."

Only five steps separated her from the large French windows that led to the guest house but she didn't reach them on time and froze under Grace's new question.

"What happened between Will and you? What have you argued about this time? Until now you seemed to be happy and relaxed whenever you came here for the weekend – and look at you. Look at you in the mirror, Karen. Things have changed."

Something boiled in her veins – boiled in her stomach – and clenching her teeth, Karen frowned before looking down at the hardwood floor. Nothing was fair anymore. Nothing at all.

"Let me go to this goddamn lighthouse, now."

…

Once they had spent a summer in Northern California – a small seaside village which name she hadn't kept in mind. It had rained all the time and if her mother – as well as her sister – had complained, she hadn't minded that much because something had seemed to emanate from the strong storms; a bewitching beauty. She had gone fishing with her father on several occasions – had walked along the cliffs. Then in September he had passed away and she had drawn a line under everything.

And against all expectations – so many years later – memories from that last summer rushed back to her mind as she reached the lighthouse under an icy rain. The waves – carried on by the wind – were crashing loud a few feet below against the cliffs. Huddled in her raincoat Karen approached the white tower and leaned against its wall. Water sliding down her face in spite of the rain hood covering most of her head.

"I was hoping to see you again..."

The voice made her jump though she kept on staring at the ocean – waiting for Sophie to come closer. Grace hadn't told her that she would be there. As a matter of fact, they hadn't talked about her anymore as if nothing had to be said. The last time both women had met, it had been at _Taste –_ on a large bed. A few weeks ago just before all the rest.

"I have been busy. Will has been busy – at work, among other things."

All of a sudden, she felt Sophie's hand on her wrist – cold under the rain but firm enough. She looked down at it and didn't move. Simply observed the gesture for long seconds. They had slept together and both perfectly knew that it would never happen again for a thousand reasons. Yet there was something that none of them could deny – perhaps led by the ephemeral intimacy they had shared.

"You have quite an odd relation with Will... But beautiful in its own way. Don't give it up, Karen. Think about it... Don't give up on anything. Mainly because life is too fragile."

Laughter suddenly pierced in the background – beyond the rain and the wind. As she turned around to look where they came from, Karen observed two children running towards Sophie. They had the exact same features – the gray eyes and the delicate lips. They were barely six years old.

"Oh... Karen, please let me introduce you to my sons: Solal and Ruben."

But before Karen had a chance to give a polite smile to the boys, they both went away down the path – running towards a man she assumed to be Sophie's husband. If he owned the club in New York then at no moment had she met him before. A bit confused and taken aback, she remained silent and frowned. Sophie laughed lightly to her reaction – embracing this carefree attitude she seemed to own so easily.

"My husband is a pianist... He plays at the club – at times. When I see Will and you, I have the feeling to see the both of us at the very beginning... Such a long time ago. Strange sensation... Have a nice weekend, Karen."

**I thought a lot along the lines**

**And I've been fooled about all night**

**Wiped clean always by midnight**

**Wasn't it like an idiot summer**

_**Idiot Summer**_**, Gin Blossoms**


	13. Summer Rain

**Chapter thirteen – Summer Rain**

It was a strange situation – a troubling one – but the truth was that beyond the singularity of such a dinner, Karen envied Will and Sophie for pretending that everything was fine. As if nothing had ever happened once between the three of them. As if a casual conversation over a dinner with Grace owned the shapes of normality when it didn't at all and she knew it.

The storm had calmed down for a while – the rain only falling down the French windows with softness if not just delicacy. Like a lullaby that would have tucked her in along with addicting glasses of wine. They had crossed a limit that evening – obviously, quietly. Turning down Sophie's invitation wouldn't have been understood by Grace and all of a sudden Karen had found herself trapped in a dead-end path with the obligation to attend the dinner.

She shouldn't have come to Cape Cod in the first place. Will might have finally arrived, it didn't change the slightest thing. As a matter of fact, it hurt to face him – to observe his lies and the way he seemed to do well with them. Jekyll and Hyde. She had often compared him to the famous literary character with a double personality and if at the beginning she had needed several minutes to guess which one he was, now it was barely a matter of seconds before the truth to appear under a cruel light.

Putting back down on the table her glass of wine for the thousand time, Karen began to stare at Sophie. Sat on the other side of the table, the woman was smiling – obviously enjoying a conversation with the others. Her gaze was light yet rather intense while her voice resounded low in the room. Calm.

A few hours had passed by since they had talked by the lighthouse – since Sophie had appeared under different circumstances. For some reason, Karen hadn't imagined that she could be a mother. Actually, in her head Sophie never left the club and spent all her life there – leaned at the counter, kissing guests. Motherhood didn't fit in. At no moment.

She didn't want to judge her – after all the swingers club was beforehand a business yet perhaps also a personal way to live her sexual life and her couple – but as Karen's hazel eyes landed on Will, she couldn't help wondering whether he shared her surprise concerning Sophie's private life.

"Oh... Karen went to Sarah Lawrence."

At the call of her name, Karen abandoned her quiet wonders and looked – a bit confused – at Grace in the hope her friend would complete her affirmation. She had missed the conversation. Completely.

"Obviously she majored in daydreams."

Will's words would resound loud in her head – long hours after they would have left and headed to the guesthouse for the rest of the night. It hadn't sounded like a reproach. Not a compliment either. Perhaps one of these mere allusions that seemed to belong to a very old logic – almost a sentimental one.

Sat on the porch of the guesthouse, she tended her legs until her bare feet came to rest on the banister – the rain brushing them through a light drizzle. The backyard was plunged in the dark except for the bit of grass lit up by a candle put down by the door on the wooden floor – sagely melting in a plate. After what had seemed an eternal time turning over and over in bed – unable to fall asleep properly – she had headed outside and settled there. The ocean was loud. Pushed by the wind.

She heard his steps going down the stairs but decided to remain focused on the darkness in front of her. Then – slowly – she counted the seconds.

"The shadow of the candle flame is quite impressive from up there."

Sixteen seconds.

She followed his finger and while looking up realized that the window of his bedroom overlooked the bit of grass lit up by the candle. She didn't reply though. Too many things to say – not enough time or courage. She let him sit down by her side though and fed herself with the warmth of his body. She had not touched him for such a long time – not even their hands brushing each other's.

"What is the book you wanted to give me back?"

"Short stories..."

Which contrasted with the multiple-chapter relation they were having – an endless non-fiction novel to an extent, too complicated and blurry to ever be explained or discussed.

Karen opened her mouth to add something – or eventually change the subject of their awkward and blank conversation but as she turned her head around, she finally remained quiet. Will was looking at her in silence – pain embracing his face, and confusion. Until a well-known smile lit up his features and all of a sudden, everything turned bright.

Self-confidence – the one that got on her nerves whenever she used to face him and plunge her eyes in his. It was pure envy for not being able to own the same ability but if at some point she had hated it, now she simply loved it more than anything. Because it was reassuring.

Which must be why she accepted his kiss – the way his hand slid on her waist as the heat of his body came closer to hers and they got lost in a long embrace. The breeze was caressing her nape while the rain kept on falling loudly around them. They didn't stay on the porch very long. Soon enough she took his hand and headed back inside up to the first floor. She thought about Sasha and Will's current gesture but as she laid down on her bed under his caresses, everything stopped making sense. She was his – for the thousand time. Again.

**Summer rain taps at my window**

**West wind soft as a sweet dreams**

**My love warm as the sunshine**

**Sittin' here by me, she's here by me**

_**Summer Rain**_**, Johnny Rivers**


	14. Summertime

**Chapter fourteen – Summertime**

She had read it a hundred times but it never seemed to be enough – as if the words engraved now in her head had to pass underneath her skin and float there throughout her body. Then it would hurt and at some point she would find her pain fair enough – entirely deserved. But sat on the edge of the tub and waiting for the water to fill it properly, it didn't seem to work and she remained blank – reading Jack's letter over and over. The summer wasn't going as she had expected. Instead of simply enjoying her time with Will – the chance they had to finally be left alone together in the city – Karen found herself lonely and missing her friends. Even Stanley. At least when they were there, she didn't have to wander without references – break down her very own resolutions not necessarily for sentimental reasons but for many what-ifs she couldn't stand.

There was no distance with Will whatsoever – no slowing down to bring a human touch to their story anymore. They were back to carnal encounters as if nothing had happened and it was the way it had to be. It was not frustrating but disappointing – on a personal point of view. She had failed. There was nothing more obvious. And for what, at the end? At times the words burnt her lips – brushed the air – but never made it properly out in a real sentence. Even less a question. And she remained there with her doubts – a guilt that wouldn't go away whenever Will kissed her and she thought about Sasha. Were they still dating?

How come could she care about a complete stranger and not give a damn about her own husband? The situation was exactly the same. Not her feelings though.

The tub got filled and she stopped the water before standing up to undress. Abandoning the letter on the marble counter, she slowly let her bathrobe slide down her shoulders – land on the floor quietly. Maybe she should have turned around immediately and stepped into the tub. Succumbing to the hot water, she would have felt fine – and warm. Almost secure. But instead her eyes caught her reflection in the mirror – the shadows of guilt embracing her face. Everything was falling down into pieces like a too ephemeral house of cards.

A boiling sensation exploded in her lower stomach – all of a sudden, without any warning. Clenching her fists as if to face better the sudden strength that was now spreading all over her body, Karen closed her eyes and with a cold control managed to swallow back her tears. She had no time to waste in cries – no time whatsoever.

Slowly, she finally turned around and stepped into the tub – then leaned her head backwards, eyes fixed on the ceiling.

…

"It is a very formal party. There is nothing to worry about. I was asked to come with a guest which is why you are here."

Lost in the contemplation of the buildings speeding past through the window of the taxi, Karen smiled almost lightly – amused. Since the day Will had suggested her to come celebrate some anniversary at his office, he hadn't stopped trying to justify his act as if to reassure himself – that bringing his current lover and eventually one his clients' wife was alright. When it wasn't and they both knew it.

It never crossed her mind she could actually have turned him down. On the contrary. It was just another way to spend one more evening in his company when the silence and the emptiness of her penthouse resounded heavy in the pale summer night. More and more unbearable. The previous night, she hadn't seen him and spent the dark hours drinking away a thousand scenarios of him and Sasha – images that had stuck to her head with an oppressive strength. Ridiculous jealousy.

Of course she knew Will's office and had passed its doors more times than she could actually remember but as she entered the corridors that evening, she didn't recognize the place. The neutral colors had been replaced by more colorful ones yet following the scheme of conventionalism imposed by corporations. And to the usual quietness had substituted a bewitching cacophony – made of loud conversations and laughter, drinks being poured into glasses.

As if carried on by the strong sentiment of life emanating from the party, Karen began to relax and left Will for the bar as his boss asked him to come and greet some important client.

"A Martini on the rock, without any olive..."

Her cell phone vibrated in her bag. With a barely contained urge, she went for it only to realize that it was a message – not a phone call from Jack as she had hoped.

"What about Spain?"

A few seconds floated above and finally sure that the words were addressed to her, Karen looked up at her interlocutor. A man in his thirties – elegant – was standing by her side smiling and amused by his own question apparently.

"Excuse me?"

The burning taste of vodka against her lips calmed down her heartbeats. Soon enough the world would look blurry and she would feel fine – safe.

"Spain is the most important olive producer in the world. You aren't helping the country with your dry Martini."

If some people couldn't stand what they took for audacity, she didn't see these remarks are impertinent but smart ones – highlighting a witted spirit. And a certain boldness when it came to perfect strangers. A smile grew on her lips and she tended her hand.

"Karen Walker – an old... Friend... Of Will Truman. His client as well in all technical nature."

Subconsciously, her tone of voice had betrayed a lot when affirming her status – her relation to Will. A wave of remorse perhaps. A whirl of guilt probably. But the man didn't seem to care that much. With a strong determination, he shook her hand – kept on smiling.

"Sasha Lieberman. A new... Friend... Of Will Truman."

**One of these mornings**

**You're gonna rise, rise up singing**

**You're gonna spread your wings, child**

**And take, take to the sky**

**Lord, the sky**

**But until that morning**

**Honey, nothing's going to harm ya**

**No, no no, no, no no...**

**Don't you cry – cry**

_**Summertime**_**, Janis Joplin**


	15. The Last Day of Summer

**Chapter fifteen – The Last Day Of Summer**

She had learned to get familiar with the Upper East Side brick building – the sentiment of money if not safety that emanated from it. Children smiling while stepping out at the end of the day and a dozen of nannies waiting – a bit disillusioned – on the sidewalk to bring them back to their penthouses. Olivia and Mason attended a similar school a few blocks away. And even though she wasn't very involved in the academic life, Karen knew these places by heart – from their values to the fees you quietly gave in the so-called intimacy of a luxurious office.

The evolution of the past couple of weeks had been extremely unhealthy – flirting with dark limits she preferred to ignore. It would hurt a lot at some point but she couldn't help it and getting closer to Sasha seemed to be a necessity. Ridiculous hope it would make things easier with Will, maybe...

His blue navy backpack in hand, Sasha finally left the building and smiled brightly as he saw her on the sidewalk a bit away from the nannies. Twice a week they went for a drink at the end of the afternoon – and sat at the terrace of some exclusive cafe, they talked for hours about anything. They got along very well. It was a fact. In spite of all the rest. At times Will joined them and they shared dinner just like old friends embracing lies and appearances for something they couldn't name.

She still slept with Will on a regular basis – several times a week. Sasha might have been doing exactly the same but thanks to probable conveniences, they had never crossed each other at The Riverside Drive apartment nor had she seen them both leave together by night after some time at a restaurant. Discretion probably.

In spite of the precarious balance of such a routine, it seemed to work out nonetheless like a _ménage à trois _that would have found references. But for how long? Soon enough the blue sky would fade away as the dark shades of September would slowly embrace the city and all of a sudden, the summer would be over. With all the things it meant.

It got accumulated dangerously in her head – her stomach – and her heart. Her silence over what they were living was weighing a lot on her day-to-day life but as soon as Will began to kiss her nape, Karen didn't mind and pushed it all away. Too easily. Taking a step back to better jump, in a word.

But for once, Sasha didn't wait for Will to arrive. He had other plans – an old high school friend he had not seen in a very long while. It would be a face-to-face at some Italian restaurant in The Upper West Side. Falsely romantic – pretty much borderline. They would have sex. It was a well-known fact.

They didn't make it to Will's bedroom as if they were out of time – out of these tiny seconds that finally separated them from the comfort of a bed. Instead they slammed the door and went for each other with a barely contained desire - getting rid of their clothes through impatient caresses, long and deep kisses. The door was warm against her back and the breeze passing by the open French windows of the terrace came to brush her neck with a delicacy that contrasted with their rough gestures. They didn't lose time in foreplay preferring the heat of their respective bodies and the burning thrusts to the slow pace of a prelude that didn't match casual sex.

If rough intercourse was something she couldn't stand in her sentimental relationships, it drove her crazy. There was something painful in it – not physically but morally – and oddly enough, she found it arousing to a point she would have never imagined.

It didn't take her long – probably only a few minutes – before feeling her orgasm boil in her stomach as she squeezed Will's waist tightly with her legs, his lips lost in the depths of her neck. Biting her lower lip and trying to control her sensation, she nonetheless arched her back – offering his thrusts a better angle – and let her nails dig in his skin under the intensity. And then she let it go. Let go of everything.

It must have been a matter of minutes – just the required time for them to get dressed and have a drink. She was sipping on a red wine when Will's phone vibrated. Randomly, she observed him check it right away – studied his bright smile for long, painful seconds.

"It is from Sasha, isn't it? Now you got your way with me and I am about to leave, are you going to join him and have another fuck?"

Her comment surprised them both – perhaps her even more than Will. Had she really been that good at pretending that everything was alright when it was all falling down into pieces? A bitter laugh escaped from his lips and almost baffled, Will shook his head at her.

"Excuse me?"

She was shaking – of anger and fear. But even though she was heading straight into a wall, she knew that she wouldn't stop now. It was too late to ever come backwards and pretend - one more time - that nothing had happened. Her voice resounded low and cold.

"Oh come on, you know what I mean."

"No, I don't – and obviously it is time for you to speak instead of remaining silent as you are used to. It is one of your specialties... But then don't be surprised if nobody understands you. Assume it all – for once, Karen. And say it! Say what you keep for yourself so secretly, damn it!"

But the words didn't cross her lips. Instead, they remained locked in her broken heart and got buried in some dark corner as she grabbed her bag then rushed out of the apartment.

**Nothing I am**

**Nothing I dream**

**Nothing is new**

**Nothing I think or believe in or say**

**Nothing is true**

_**The Last Day of Summer**_**, The Cure**


	16. Summer Rain II

**Chapter sixteen – Summer Rain II**

Perhaps it was the gray sky that pierced coldly through the windows only to spread its dark shades on the floor – over the furniture. Perhaps it had to do with the sentiments that floated in her head and the weight on her heart – lost in confusion, buried alive. Perhaps it was a matter of seasons and a few people's schedules that soon enough would bring along with their shadows the bitterness of failure. Or just a combination of all these hypothesis and it dragged her down in a whirl of oppressive melancholy.

"You look like a ghost – it is terrible. I had never imagined that I would say that one day but please go on vacations for a while, Karen. You awfully need it."

Grace's constant turmoil nonetheless didn't bring a semblance of life to the office. The place remained icy – a sentiment of abandon embracing it – as if the summer still owned the walls with its typical torpor. Slowly, Karen turned her head around and observed the rain drops fall down along the windows. It was just a storm – a tiny break in the unbearable temperatures they had had until then – but it reminded her that soon enough, September would show up and she would have to turn the page. Over many things.

"It is just that... I have been busy lately and I need to slow down a little before..."

Before what? She didn't finish her sentence – because it was worthless. Too many words and too many aspects of her existence that Karen didn't want to face. It wasn't her fault. No. She just wasn't ready at all.

"Cape Cod will be perfect for you this weekend. You are coming, aren't you? I really need you – as my assistant. The works are over and your presence is required for the finale..."

But as she lit a cigarette and felt the nicotine wrap up her lungs, Karen didn't hear anymore her friend's explanation. She knew the procedure by heart. After all, she had been working for Grace for a while. A lot of years made of lies and if the red-head was only in New York for the day – to sign a few papers – within a couple of weeks their old routine would get back in their lives as if nothing had happened. The end of a precarious season somehow – where references had exploded all around.

"Stanley comes back tomorrow from Switzerland. But Olivia and Mason won't be here before Monday. Not that their presence would change anything anyway..."

The comment had resounded blank – lifeless – and contrasting sharply with Grace's colorful sentences. Five days had gone by since she had stormed out Will's apartment. He hadn't run after her in the street – like in some cheap movie she nonetheless loved watching – and even less called her. No mails received either. A complete silence as if they had never lived anything together. As if she hadn't heard the comment, Grace kept on talking - following her own argumentation.

"Besides, Constance wants to see you again. I guess she likes you, Karen – as odd as it sounds. Though to be honest, I start wondering what kind of business she owns. There were some strange messages on her answering machine at some point and... I don't know. She looks mysterious to me."

Grace made her feel dizzy – too much talk, too much life emanating from her and way too suddenly. It was becoming hard to actually stand in the same room without feeling oppressed. Closing her eyes and stop thinking – perhaps it would work out on the slight migraine she was having while her friend kept on letting the words slide on her lips.

"And then there is Will – desperately silent and secretive. I hate it... What do you think?"

The question made Karen jump slightly but for long seconds she didn't open her eyes – didn't make any comment. It is only when Sasha appeared in her mind that she connected back to reality and raised her eyebrows to Grace before shrugging nonchalantly. One – two – three.

"Constance is better known in the underground Manhattan as Sophie, the owner of a swingers club – a very select one where Will and I are regulars. Because yes, I fuck Will. I fuck him."

The silence that followed weighed heavily – floating over the office for interminable seconds if not a whirl of minutes. The rain seemed to fall loudly outside. The murmurs of the traffic reaching their ears with an evident discomfort. Grace had suddenly stopped – a few sketches in hand – in the middle of the room and looked at Karen with what seemed like to be perplexity.

Sat at her desk, Karen played with her cigarette – almost defiantly.

"You can't be serious for a second in your life, can you? Anyway, thank you for not listening – for not... Oh, what I know? Show if only an ounce of care. I am running late and have to go if I want to catch the last train. See you on Friday evening."

Grace left in a whirl of exasperation – quietly enough, though. The rain had stopped outside but still at her desk, Karen didn't notice it. Instead, she was staring intensely at the brick wall in front of her. And this burning feeling on her cheeks that wouldn't go away – tears falling down softly.

"I wish you had believed me, Gracie."

Her voice was low – cold – and bitter. Full of regrets before a situation she wouldn't go through with a sentiment of being safe. Long hours after – when the night would have fallen over Manhattan – Karen would finally leave the office and walk aimlessly through the streets. Alone in a rainy breeze.

She had lost the game and she knew it.

**Every night and every day now**

**Though I know you've gone away**

**Somewhere in my heart I'm always**

**Dancing with you in the summer rain**

_**Summer Rain**_**, Belinda Carlisle**


	17. Summer's Almost Gone

**Chapter seventeen – Summer's Almost Gone**

As she settled on the bench and looked straight ahead at the ocean, Karen realized that there wouldn't be another time – it was the very last one and she would miss the place. Oddly enough since she hadn't spent more than a few weekends there. It would have been part of the odd summer she had just lived – perhaps a significant part of it if she thought about it – nonetheless and it was why a delicate bitterness was embracing her mind. As a matter of fact, things had already changed. The shades of the waters and the light of the sky. They used to be brighter – more alive.

"You never came back."

The breeze made her shiver and instinctively, she crossed her arms against her chest – listening calmly to Sophie's words. The woman was now standing on her right. White dress – a strand of hair floating in front of her face. She was suntanned. A detail that caught Karen's attention for a few seconds. She must have gone on vacations – at some point.

"Will is seeing someone now."

Sophie looked surprised but tried her best to not show it. Perhaps it was the reason why Karen liked her at the end. They were similar to each other – desperate for a control over their instinctive reactions.

"You are married."

It wasn't a reproach or a note of irony but a simple fact that meant a lot – for being true, bitterly true. A seagull passed flying above their heads. Both women stared at the bird for a moment as if studying the elegance that emanated from the wings – the eloquence of the call that spread over the sky. Then – all of a sudden – the seagull disappeared behind a cloud and the situation came back to its original scheme.

"Can't you just assume that – perhaps – you were wrong, this time? About Will and I..."

But Sophie didn't reply. Instead, she crossed her arms against her chest just as Karen had done a minute earlier and stared at the ocean. She didn't look sad or affected by Karen's comment. On the contrary, a sort of determination was glimmering in her eyes – a determination that took Karen aback.

"The dinner is ready. I told Grace that I would go for you."

Except her determination remained in the depths of subtlety as she finally talked and waited for Karen to follow her back to the house. The sun had gone down within a few minutes and as she stood up then turned around, Karen observed in silence the lights inside the house – piercing through the open French windows and embracing the grass of a golden shade. The place looked so peaceful. So perfect.

…

Her dress brushed her shoulders – caressed her lower back before sliding along her ankles – and landed on the floor in a whirl of whisper. She unhooked her bra and put on her satin negligee just in time to not feel the cold embrace of the wind on her naked skin.

And then she turned around.

Will was there – standing on the door frame of her bedroom, hands in the pockets of his pants. Against all expectations, it hadn't been hard to pretend. During the dinner – whenever they had had to face each other in public. Hopefully nobody had even noticed the slightest thing. At least not that she had missed him. Immensely. Terribly.

Perhaps it had been too long now to ever renounce to it. Perhaps – in spite of everything – it was better to accept it. Because it was hard if not impossible. Because her life didn't make sense at all. Besides, it was fair. Just as Sophie had said earlier while sat on the bench that faced the ocean. Or not.

Slowly – awkwardly – Karen made a step then another one towards Will. She only stopped when she found back his arms around her and the taste of his lips against her mouth. It was just a kiss but seemed to have a whole meaning in itself – something that had never happened to her, not even when asleep or lost in her daydreams. Good or bad – who cared? It just had to be.

She wanted to apologize for her reaction the last time they had argued but as she broke apart and locked her eyes with his brown ones, she only managed to smile. Shyly first – before her laugh joined his and they closed the door behind. Turned off the light.

Because now it would always be like. Some sort of endless story made of obstacles and doubts but no mattered the words they would use against each other – no mattered the lies – it seemed obvious that it would constantly take them back to the very beginning. The distress to satisfy quiet sexual urges in the darkness of the night. Anonymously.

"Stay with me – please..."

She had felt him escape from her touch – just like every time. Out of habit once they were done. But a sentiment of loneliness had begun to spread as the heat of his body had slid under her fingers to reach the edge of the bed. They had lost any notion of time except it was still the night – the first hours of the morning perhaps. And as dopamine was settling over their bodies, they were slowly drifting off to sleep in each other's arms. But what about the rules? The implicit ones that years of encounters had settled in their secretive lives. Will had to go. Staying wasn't part of the plan.

**Morning found us calmly unaware**

**Noon burned gold into our hair**

**At night, we swam the Laughing sea**

**When summer's gone**

**Where will we be**

_**Summer's Almost Gone**_**, The Doors**


	18. Suddenly Last Summer

**Chapter eighteen – Suddenly Last Summer**

Will_T: Your ass got me all distracted. I forgot my keys.

September had finally made it to Manhattan but the temperatures kept on being high – as if the summer weren't ready to go away and let the fall impose itself slowly. From his seat, Will turned around to look by the window only to remember that he was overlooking another building. Sometimes, he fantasized about trees and leaves – what a green space would offer him instead of all these bricks. A quick glance at his computer screen made him frown. Karen didn't seem to be online – not that it would be surprising for it being the middle of the afternoon – but he had hoped she would and thus be able to give him back his keys. They had seen each other for lunch but quickly enough ended up on the couch where Grace used to abandon a dozen of fabrics – him on top of her, panting loudly.

Will_T: Not that I don't like this kind of distractions... Especially coming from you.

He had just grabbed his cell phone and was about to send Karen a text message when she finally made contact on the Web. Over the years – as he had got to know her better – Will had got addicted to Karen and all the details that she never showed but in private. Not only on sexual matters but a different range of elements – her writing style being one of them. It was unique and peculiar. Studied and controlled.

Miss_K: Where do you think you left them, honey?

Will_T: Probably on the sofa... They must have fallen down as you got rid of my pants. Your eagerness will one day reduce my wardrobe to pieces.

She took her time to reply – probably pretending in front of Grace as she used to. Even though a chat in the middle of the day was rare. Extremely rare. But something had been settled down that summer and while everyone was back to New York – going on in a daily routine – they still got clutched to July and August, almost desperately. The past two months hadn't been as calm and relaxing as they had thought in the first place but if he had to look at it retrospectively, Will nonetheless didn't want to forget it.

Miss_K: Like you need to ever be fully clothed. You know what I think about this.

Her reply made him smile – not brightly but with a barely contained amusement in his eyes nonetheless and if she wanted to play then he wouldn't miss it. It was a slow day at the office. Some people were on vacations for still a few days and clients didn't seem in a hurry about anything. As a matter of fact, this was the exact reason why Will loved September. Because it was calm – smooth.

Will_T: Just as I like making my tongue twirl around your nipples while my hands go down your hips.

He hadn't been afraid that he might lose Karen after their argument. A pure surge of over-confidence he couldn't stand but at least it had the credits to leave him at peace with the ups and downs of their odd – yet addicting – relationship. They had had a break and perhaps it had been much needed. It had given him time to think and go out – mostly with Sasha. And Sophie.

Miss_K: I prefer your tongue to stick to another – more strategical – part of my body.

Will_T: Although I have to recognize that yours is a lot more talented.

The first time he had slept with Karen, Will hadn't known what to think – even less what to say. It had seemed unexpected and yet rather logical as if it were meant to be. They had argued – teased – and all of a sudden they had been kissing with eagerness. From then on all the rest had settled down slowly – the years passing by in a whirl of confusing encounters. They had got closer. On different levels. To the point he now enjoyed a dinner in her company as much as ending up in bed kissing her skin. Karen had something – what exactly he didn't know but sure enough he liked it.

Miss_K: I can't find your keys... I will still rummage around. They are probably hidden under a pillow or something.

Will_T: Or under the sofa. I should have checked before leaving anyway. We still had time since Grace was in Brooklyn. By the way, is she back?

Miss_K: She is... Listen, if I don't find your keys then anyway Grace or Jack should be at your place in the evening before you. It is not as if you were in an emergency or anything.

Will_T: I am in an emergency to kiss you.

Miss_K: Since when are you so shy?

Will_T: …

Miss_K: Come on, honey. Say it out loud.

He loved when she pleaded him – online and in bed when whispering to his ear. Her breath was moist and terribly arousing by then. Her voice so low – hoarse. Passing his tongue over his lips, Will leaned forward and let a smile light up his face as he wrote back to her.

Will_T: Karen Walker, I am in an emergency to fuck you hard.

The conversation stopped there and Will stood up – headed to the coffee machine for a break before the study of a new file got his attention all afternoon long. He thought about Karen though – the way she always shivered under his touch and this odd light in her eyes when he was about to kiss her. As if she were in doubts. At his mercy and scared of such position. They wouldn't allude to their chat but he still wondered if at this exact moment, she still had his words in mind.

Little did he know that Karen had left the office for a very long while and had never sent any reply – at no moment. Little did he know that on the other side of the city a very perplexed Grace had stood up and gone to check the reason of the alert on her assistant's computer. Little did he know that even though it had hurt – pain melting in anger – Grace had played along the role of his dear and secret lover behind the screen. Baffled at first but determined to know the truth. And as Grace had spread the nets of her trap, Will had fallen down in it. Almost too easily.

**One summer never ends**

**One summer never began**

**It keeps me standing still**

**It takes all my will**

**And then suddenly**

**Last Summer**

_**Suddenly Last Summer**_**, The Motels**


	19. Looking For The Summer

**Chapter nineteen – Looking For The Summer **

It had hit her like a ton of bricks in the middle of the dinner. An abrupt suddenness while Stanley had been talking to Mason about a regatta organized by some charity. As usual, she had felt aside and pretty much by instinct had got lost in her wonders in order to escape from the boring scene. What if it hadn't happened? What if she hadn't had the opportunity to plunge into introspection at this exact moment? It might have even already occurred in the past and she would have missed her chance - subconsciously.

But not this time and as she had slowly taken a sip of her red wine, Karen had realized that she should have been somewhere else – for not belonging to Stanley, to this married life that didn't make sense. It hadn't resulted from an argument between the two of them but a simple conclusion imposing itself at a rather unexpected moment.

She had found one piece – a tiny one but that had set off all the rest with fluidity. Without any pain or fear. Plans had rushed up to her mind – stealing her nights away – until the puzzle had been complete, leading her to this sidewalk on a rainy Tuesday afternoon. She hadn't called him. Only hoped that his schedule hadn't changed and thus he would step out of the building soon enough now. Then she would tell him – everything.

They hadn't seen each other for a while in spite of her implicit agreement with Will to turn the page – to leave behind her doubts. She missed him somehow and yet knew – as she observed him pass the doors of the school – that she would have to learn how to live without him. Because there was no role in her plans for him. She waved – a bit awkwardly – and made a step forward as he noticed her.

"Karen... It has been a long time. As a matter of fact, I was starting to wonder if I would ever see you again. How are you?"

Hands in the pockets of her jacket, she didn't think about it twice. Locking her eyes with his, she took a deep breath and passed her tongue over her lips as if the gesture would give her more courage.

"I want you to stop seeing Will. I want my relation with him to be exclusive. So I ask you to take your distance – once and for all."

A woman passed by them – holding a child's hand. She smiled politely at Sasha but didn't stop and left, down Madison Avenue. Sasha nonetheless waited for long seconds – as if to be sure his words wouldn't be overheard by anyone, even less a colleague – and finally frowned at Karen with perplexity.

"Aren't you married?"

The question made her blush. She felt how the heat rush up her cheeks suddenly – without any warning whatsoever. But there wasn't any time to waste in shame or embarrassment. No. For once she would go and assume everything like the adult she was.

"I am going to ask for a divorce. I don't want to live with Stanley anymore."

"Okay but I still don't see why I should stop seeing Will."

This time Sasha took her aback and she remained quiet for a few seconds. Something wasn't going as she had planned unless Sasha just lacked common sense and moral values.

"I don't want him to sleep with anyone else but me. This is how I see... How I see a relationship. It has to be exclusive."

Sasha frowned and shrugged. He looked lost and confused – embarrassed as well. Finally – after a moment of indecision – his voice resounded low.

"But Karen... I am not dating Will."

…

As Will reached Saint Marks Place and saw the trees of Tompkins Square Park in front of him, the rain began to fall stronger – getting mixed with a cold wind. He hadn't taken any umbrella when leaving the office. It hadn't crossed his mind no mattered the sky was gray with heavy clouds.

_Meet me at the gates of Tompkins Square Park in front of Saint Marks Place_

_This afternoon – at 3pm_

Karen's unexpected message online had reminded him of the beginning – the very first times when an arousing taste of novelty was floating above their heads and they came up with lies to meet during the day if only for a few hours. The sudden nostalgia brought back was sweet.

Checking time on his watch, he realized that he was there too early. Slowing down his pace, his brown eyes studied his surroundings and stopped on a coffee shop opposite the street. The place was empty except for a woman reading peacefully a novel at a table by the window.

"A cappuccino, please."

For some reason, his heart began to beat faster as the minutes passed by. It wasn't anxiousness of course but a sensation he had never experienced when related to his encounters with Karen. Something in his stomach – something oppressive. Trying to focus on the newspapers the coffee shop offered instead as he sipped the hot drink, Will got lost in the fluctuations of the Stock Exchange before checking his watch again. It was 3pm.

The rain hadn't stopped. On the contrary, it seemed to have won strength. Huddling up his jacket, Will made the last steps with his eyes fixed on the asphalt to escape from the rain drops that fell down his nape instead of his face. They would have to find a hotel close enough – unless Karen had already booked a room at some place, somewhere.

He would take his time caressing her skin. His fingertips would brush the curves of her body and she would shiver under his touch – sigh quietly. But before all of this, he would cross the street and plant a kiss on her lips – one of these they never shared in public. Today he didn't care that much what the others could think. It was just Karen and him.

Except that as he looked up – reaching the gates of the park – he didn't come to face Karen but Grace and everything stopped. Everything began to actually make sense. Like the sensation boiling in his stomach - oppressive pain that hadn't left him for a while.

**And still I stand this very day**

**With a burning wish to fly away**

**I'm still looking, looking for the summer**

_**Looking for the Summer**_**, Chris Rea **


	20. Summer Of '69

**Chapter twenty – Summer Of '69**

Her hands looked pale in the water – of a fluid transparency – and contrasted with the blueness of the tiles she remained focused on while swimming. As if it would make her forget everything: Sasha, Will, her decision to leave Stanley. They were all getting mixed in her head – disappearing one side only to make it back on the other one – and it left her confused. Slightly panicked.

Will hadn't dated Sasha. They hadn't kissed – even less slept together – and before the confession in the middle of the sidewalk a few hours ago, Karen had felt immensely stupid. A misunderstanding that had lasted all summer long only to finally learn that Sasha was a friend of the Truman's and to realize that Will had lied to Grace about him only to find some peace in her perpetual questions about his private life.

Both men hadn't grown up together but met throughout the years occasionally until that afternoon – in last July – when by accident they had crossed each other at a bookstore and begun to talk. And nothing else. Just a friendship that little by little seemed to get more strength. Sasha wasn't even interested in men.

Her feet hit the edge of the pool and she turned around to start a new length – catching up her breath in the silence of the room. After her conversation with Sasha, Karen had come back to her penthouse and spent the next hours sat by the window of the library – staring blankly at Central Park – until the night had fallen over the city and she had retreated there to swim.

She ignored Will's sentiments – even more whether she was part of his near future – and couldn't help wondering about Stanley. She had never asked for a divorce before – just been on the other side trying to cope with the cold shower it had brought. She didn't want to face anger from her husband and bitter disillusions from her lover. She wouldn't be able to handle it. Never.

She didn't hear the door get slammed but soon enough pictured out the figure of someone walking by the pool. She recognized the hair – a red shade – and immediately reached the surface. Standing by an empty bench, Grace was looking at the waters in silence – hands in the pockets of her jacket. Stepping out of the water, Karen went to grab her bathrobe – put it on – then walked to her friend. It was the first time they met there – the first time Grace actually came to this part of the mansion.

It is when Karen noticed her friend's red – puffy – eyes that she stopped and felt her heart beat fast – as if on the point to echo the large room loudly. Grace had been crying. Desperate to not succumb to some panic, Karen tried to breath slowly until her brain came up with one name. Just one. And all the rest fell down.

"Something happened? To Will?"

"What have I done to you?"

Grace's question took her aback – completely. A cold anger had escaped from the few words used and as she shook her head in confusion, Karen jumped under her friend's sudden laugh. Loud and sharp.

"Will. Is it by pure instinct that you have just mentioned him? You see... Even your lies are too weak at the end. The slightest fear and you can't help thinking about him first. Such a betrayal, Karen."

She made a step backwards – her bare feet landing in a puddle of water, a cold one that made her shiver and swallow hard. Wrapped in her bathrobe, Karen felt stupid and menaced – too short, too petite.

"What..."

But Grace's voice resounded too loud in the room and reduced hers to a mere whisper – a coward one. There was something unfair and in all honesty, Karen wasn't sure to be entirely guilty.

"I don't give a damn if you are cheating on Stanley but from all the men in New York... From them all, why did you have to go for Will? For my Will... You knew how much he meant to me – how close our relation is. How dared you to do that to me?"

It wasn't anger but incomprehension – and pain – that emanated from Grace now. Tears that probably burnt were falling down her cheeks as she remained there by the pool. Disarmed and sobbing.

"I didn't choose anything. We didn't choose..."

"Purely sexual! It is purely sexual – Will told me about that. The only sentiment involved in all of this is your fucking climax so there is all to choose. It isn't a love story but a disgusting sexual fling. And it hurts... It hurts like hell coming from you. Because I thought that you were my friend..."

Karen opened her mouth to reply to Grace's implicit plea to justify her acts but nothing came out – not a single sound. She had always lacked the necessary dose of courage in these moments. Why would it have changed now? Quiet, she looked how Grace left the room – close the door.

Something hurt at some point. Something in the palm of her hand. Perplexed, Karen looked down and realized that her nails had dug deep crescent on her skin with such violence it was making her bleed. In a moment of confusion, she brought her hand to her lips and tried to stop the red liquid from running on her pale skin but under the contact with her mouth, she realized that she was shaking uncontrollably.

So many things could happen within a few minutes – from a stolen kiss that would lead to an affair of several years to the decision to give up everything for one person and just one. Except Will had no feeling whatsoever for her and that changed it all. Cruelly.

**Man we were killin' time**

**We were young and restless**

**We needed to unwind**

**I guess nothin' can last forever, no**

_**Summer Of '69**_**, Bryan Adams**


	21. A Summer Song

**Chapter twenty-one – A Summer Song**

There was a new light in Grace's eyes – some sort of a shade that would have been drawn by pain if not disillusions – but instead of dragging down her gaze, it actually added something to it. Like a note of seriousness that would have been quietly needed and it suited her very well. A waiter brought both of their coffees before going away again with a delicate subtlety that only high standard places offered.

Following an implicit conventionalism, none of them said a word until they happened to be alone.

"It isn't as if nothing would have happened but still. I have thought about it – talked to Will, and you. I am ready to turn the page and start it all over again if only I can trust you. But I have to let you know... That it won't be easy. It might take time, Karen. A lot of time."

It couldn't have been clearer or more expeditious. At least Grace had the credits to not have tortured her with what-ifs and maybes. It sounded too perfect though – too easy.

"Jack doesn't even know about it. Stanley either, I suppose. You should consider it as a chance and only see what happened as... A summer fling."

Except it had nothing to do with a crush – a last-minute thing. Instead, it had taken years of lies – years of untold feelings. The scheme was completely different and thus set of another kind of story. The night before, Stanley had stopped by the library where she had been reading.

_I love you, Karen_

It hadn't sounded true but had nonetheless touched her more than expected – perhaps for it belonging to an old impulsiveness. Emanating from the fear she might have been about to leave. A sort of sixth sense that would have oppressed Stanley. She had smiled in return but kept any word for herself. Because she had nothing to say – nothing to add.

"I will overcome it. Will and I will overcome it – as we have done for Diane. And... I don't know. It has to be very stupid from me but I don't want to lose you as a friend. I need you by my side, Karen. Even though you... In spite of it."

Grace still had a hard time putting words on the affair. She hadn't turned the page at all – not yet. Sure it would occur at some point but for the moment it kept on hurting deep inside. Just as Karen kept on feeling bad and confused. But not guilty. On the contrary, she felt like she was a victim – of her own sentiments.

"Will agrees. He assured me that I could have his trust. Now I just need yours and we won't have to talk about it ever again. I wouldn't be here now if you weren't important for me, Karen. I wouldn't..."

Her coffee was sweet – too sweet. As she realized it, she made a face and put down the cup back on the table. She never added sugar to it – couldn't stand it. Troubled by the taste the sip had left on her mouth she turned her head around and frowned at nothing in particular until Grace's words found an echo in a couple of daydreams she was having.

"Life is cyclical. Perhaps it is time for us to go back to the beginning – to start it all over again."

Cyclical. The adjective resounded loud in her head. An instinctive smile played on her lips and all of a sudden, she nodded at her friend. Slowly – carefully. Everything got repeated – at some point – at the most unexpected moment. Because it was how it worked and nobody could prevent it from happening.

"You are right, Gracie."

Her comment surprised Grace – not for the moment during which it came up but because Karen rarely said such a thing. She rarely recognized that someone could be right but her. She still did there, though.

"I am glad that you can recognize it. The truth is... If you have marital issues with Stanley, I am here to listen to you and perhaps help you. You aren't alone, Karen. You aren't stupid either. An affair is never the solution. Purely sexual encounters are... What are they at the end? The best way to feel lonely and not that safe."

Sexual encounters. Since her teenage years, she had barely lived anything else on that matter. Until the day she had met Will. And yet it had taken her so long to realize the veracity of her feelings.

"Do you mind if I have the afternoon off, honey? I need to do some shopping – for a charity event with Stanley."

She left the coffee shop – paying for both of their drinks, the two sweet coffees – with Grace's smile in her back. Her approbation to not go back to the office. Barely three days had passed by since the pool episode. What were three days in a life? Absolutely nothing, Karen thought as she turned at the corner of the street and hailed a cab.

As the streets of midtown Manhattan were speeding past in front of her eyes, Karen settled further on her seat and concentrated on the new beginning she had just accepted. Grace's so-called rules. A matter of words – it was like running on a thin layer of ice but still. Actually, it almost sounded exciting.

The car stopped in front of a tiny building in The West Village – a quiet street. She paid the fare and as a bright smile played on her lips, got out of the cab only to push the doors of the two-story place. A new beginning could mean so many things... But it didn't necessarily imply that Grace had to win.

Nodding politely at the man at the reception, she took the stairs up to the first floor – her steps stifled on the carpeted corridor.

She would renounce to the idea of leaving Stanley. After all he had money and she needed it.

She would renounce to the idea of living with Will. After all she wasn't sure about his feelings.

She would renounce to Miss_K but...

She would get a new account, with a new name on it. Just like him.

She would go back to _Taste,_ grab his hand after having kissed Sophie.

She would smile in his kiss and shiver against his naked body. Quietly.

With more subtlety – carefully – and anonymously.

She entered the room and closed the door behind her – dropped out her stilettos, bit her lower lip as she went for Will who was standing by the window. His eyes locked with hers. They kissed – eagerly.

In a word, Karen would renounce to a lot but certainly not to every single thing.

A new beginning – with new rules. And yet this old impossibility to ever renounce completely to the most important in this story: Will.

Because no, it wasn't a mere summer fling.

**Soft kisses on a summer day**

**Laughing all our cares away**

**Just you and I**

_**A Summer Song**_**, Chad and Jeremy**


End file.
